Do you ever feel fragmented? Scattered? All over the place? It seems like lately I've been saying things like "I need to get my life in order" a little bit too much. But how many afternoons or evenings can be spent achieving such a lofty goal? Especially given all the distraction that gets in the way, it's hard to focus on this special "me" time. Do you find it's hard too?
This past weekend, I carved some time away to be by myself, alone with my thoughts so I could listen to what they said. What did my thoughts think of me? My dreams? My hopes? My needs? I know it sounds cheesy, but if you make space for thought, particularly "quiet" thought, you'll hear so much. I didn't hear everything, and I'm not completely enlightened (whoever is, please comment and tell me how ;). I'm not ready to share everything, but I will share one special moment. On the beach, in Point Reyes. With nothing but a setting sun and poetry.
If Not, Winter (Fragments of Sappho translated by Anne Carson) had been sitting on my shelf for years and I hadn't picked it up. I knew it would be the perfect reading material for my weekend. Lyric and grounding, Anne Carson was the answer.
These fragments jumped from the page and into the windy beach air.
I read and I listened.
When I listen sometimes I'm reminded of what's important.
The sun sets everyday.
I am so lucky to see it rise again. My solo weekend is still so close and comforting to me, I'm not yet ready to process it on the page. I'm still soaking it in, feeling this feeling a little longer.
oh meggie tay tay, you're a dream. i'm so happy you were able to have a solo getaway. it sounds like you took away a lot from your trip. sunsets are my favorite thing, and are always a beautiful reminder of how truly special life is and that anything is possible.
ReplyDeletei can't wait to see you! xoxo
I know what you mean :)
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time, I lived up at the Cloisters in NYC. Near by, there was that little red lighthouse which was the subject of a children's book. I used to go down there, by the river, either to run or to sit there for hours...
I'd often bring the book Blue Sky, Green Sea by Liu Sola - from which I'll quote an excerpt below, because I think you might enjoy it :)
Before I do, I wanted to write how beautiful it is that you are giving space to those questions. It can seem so hard sometimes, especially since, ultimately, the answers need to come from within, because we all have our own gifts. For what it's worth, I think you have a gift to write!
May your answers come to you - in a most beautiful way.
"The plane bores its way through the massed clouds. If you're lucky enough to be a human being, you can sit like this high up in the sky, and yet it's also human beings alone that can sit so high up in the sky without being able to touch the clouds. But birds aren't happy either: though they can fly, they're trapped in their own physical substance. This is the greatest misfortune of those whose true forms are clearly defined. All those whose true forms are clearly defined are free and confident in their own world - the basest swallow and the noblest phoenix have a better idea of their own value than a lump of chaos. The trouble is, they're trapped, and neither heaven nor earth can break down the physical substance in which they are trapped, or make it undergo myriad transformations. Chaos envies clarity; little does it know that after it has been dispersed by an air stream, it may merge with the upper atmosphere and fly even higher than the birds, or dissolve into the mire and descend to the depths where ghosts and spirits dwell. Chaos doesn't know what it actually is, and it never knows what it should or should not do, what's right or what's wrong; it always envies clarity but is always dispersed by the air stream."
sissy this is so inspiring! carving out the time for yourself, listening to your needs. love you sissy!
ReplyDeletethis is beautiful and just wanted I needed to read this AM...
ReplyDeleteI love the peek you give us into your life and thoughts.....I keep coming back for more :-)
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful post, makes me want to get away for some restorative time! Sounds heavenly.
ReplyDelete"There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met."
ReplyDeleteYou have served us all with this post, Megan.
P.S. I love the pictures in this post...especially of you.
ReplyDeleteMegan! I've been doing the same. It's been great. Absolutely love the lines you've shown us here. As for me, I keep thinking of this A. A. Milne line a reader sent me: "Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day." Very comforting.
ReplyDeleteyou look so pretty meggie!
ReplyDeleteLovely-
ReplyDeleteI think it takes time to figure these sorts of things out and the answer finds you not you- it....but only when you're ready- lived in , riledup, slowed down and open to receive it- if you're lucky enough once the clarity is there and you feel safe in where you are- the wandering eye will peak you're interest enough to shake it all up again - throw all pieces into the air, by the beach if you're lucky:), unsettle you, worry you, question all your fortunate years of being and take you back to the sun- the rising and setting sun:) uncertainty is the best "living" as far as I'm concerned :) xo
Sounds lovely. The sea has a magical impact on us.
ReplyDeleteThe beach is fantastic!So beautiful!I'd love to have a visit!
ReplyDelete